Still down
Give the meds some time with the increased dosage and see if it starts to help.
It took a long time to find one that worked for me, and then it seems after a period of years, it will stop working, and I have to try a new one.
Forgive me if I'm asking questions that you may have answered recently.
Are you getting any exercise, even if it's walking around the block? I had to go pick up my daughter's truck from the body shop yesterday, and I realized I hadn't been out of the house for two days.
I ended up buying a few groceries and then taking a drive down to the park.
It's still too easy for me to isolate. I inadvertently do that when I get caught up in my college classes.
Yes, Devon dear. I'm doing all the right things. Doc said 5 days and I should feel better on the meds. I take three 10 minute walks a day with my doggie, see the doc regularly, eating pretty well, sleeping pretty well, going to counseling 1x/week. Love my doc, love my counselor. Have just been dooooown the last 3 or 4 weeks, and it just gets worse. I dunno.
If I lived closer, you could come visit baby Ku'a. I can't put toilet paper on the holder anymore. She figured that one out and was halfway through the kitchen with the tp before I caught her!
She will nibble on and lick your nose till you can't take it anymore!
Sending you lots of gentle hugs on the humid Kansas winds!
She will nibble on and lick your nose till you can't take it anymore!
Sending you lots of gentle hugs on the humid Kansas winds!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Still Down
Hi Tigar II,
I have been in a down place about two weeks too. My husband was very ill & had to be flown by helicoptor to a bigger city to get the help he needed. He had a stroke & it showed he had one sometime before this one.
My doctor even told me he thought my husband might not make it through the night with all the things going on. My daughter & I waited to go until early morning since it was almost midnight so I was at home alone when the doctor from the ICU called from the other hospital. He pretty much said the same thing & wanted a lot of info from me.
Then when I got there in the morning he was off the respirator & looked like he hadn't been through what had happened. In four days we had him back home & he is back to his old self from a few years ago.
We wouldn't have been back together if I hadn't chose to leave him & stop my drinking when I was ready to. I did just like your husband & married a
drinker but worse things than that happened before I quit for myself.
He still drank when I left but decided he wasn't an alcoholic yet? He did marry a woman that didn't drink or smoke so he didn't for about 7 years until it all fell apart.
We are both college graduates, both worked in Social Work for different agencies & when we were retired we did another we...got married again. Our five children all all in this story too.
I quit drinking & got help for my depression/anxiety 21 years ago...my husband quit drinking about 10 years ago...we each lived in our own place & got together on weekends to camp & fish. So it does happen + we both quit smoking....almost angels..HUH! :day2
I have been in a down place about two weeks too. My husband was very ill & had to be flown by helicoptor to a bigger city to get the help he needed. He had a stroke & it showed he had one sometime before this one.
My doctor even told me he thought my husband might not make it through the night with all the things going on. My daughter & I waited to go until early morning since it was almost midnight so I was at home alone when the doctor from the ICU called from the other hospital. He pretty much said the same thing & wanted a lot of info from me.
Then when I got there in the morning he was off the respirator & looked like he hadn't been through what had happened. In four days we had him back home & he is back to his old self from a few years ago.
We wouldn't have been back together if I hadn't chose to leave him & stop my drinking when I was ready to. I did just like your husband & married a
drinker but worse things than that happened before I quit for myself.
He still drank when I left but decided he wasn't an alcoholic yet? He did marry a woman that didn't drink or smoke so he didn't for about 7 years until it all fell apart.
We are both college graduates, both worked in Social Work for different agencies & when we were retired we did another we...got married again. Our five children all all in this story too.
I quit drinking & got help for my depression/anxiety 21 years ago...my husband quit drinking about 10 years ago...we each lived in our own place & got together on weekends to camp & fish. So it does happen + we both quit smoking....almost angels..HUH! :day2
Hang in there tigger, this too will pass. You might not feel it but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for you. You're doing all the right things. Sometimes we just need to feel it to get through it. Sending you (((hugs)))
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Tigger, do you have PEOPLE in your life? NOT your son, but FRIENDS? We all need other people. Are you going to Al-Anon? Do you have any girlfriends to hang out with? Do you have a church or other religious institution who share common beliefs?
Life (and becoming and staying UN-depressed) is dependent on BALANCE. Part of that balance is interaction with other people. When we are depressed it is VERY difficult to be around other people. But please make the effort. You will feel much better if you do.
Life (and becoming and staying UN-depressed) is dependent on BALANCE. Part of that balance is interaction with other people. When we are depressed it is VERY difficult to be around other people. But please make the effort. You will feel much better if you do.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 105
Hey, Tigger--Sorry to hear you're down....but good for you for taking care of yourself and admitting that you still feel crummy. As I remember, we live very close to each other...I'd be happy to meet you for coffee or something--just to talk or laugh or feel crummy together. Up to you. I'm not too computer-savvy, but I think you can send me a private message??? Take care of you.
((((Big Hug))))
Have you done any farmville farming lately?
What level are you now?
You are doing a good job of keeping an eye on your depression. Keep monitoring your levels of depression, your diet changes, and medications. I hope that you find your way out soon.
We care about YOU!
Have you done any farmville farming lately?
What level are you now?
You are doing a good job of keeping an eye on your depression. Keep monitoring your levels of depression, your diet changes, and medications. I hope that you find your way out soon.
We care about YOU!
The good news is that you're lifting your fingers and doing some typing. I've been in a funk since I got home and finally I am starting to clear out some fog. Make like a worm and keep inching along.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Hey tigger,
I'm feeling a little down tonight, too. The al-anon meeting I went to last night was great, but tonight I am now thinking about my ex again and feeling sad. I wish the thoughts of him were like leaves, and I could just shove them down some river to float away and never come back.
I'm feeling a little down tonight, too. The al-anon meeting I went to last night was great, but tonight I am now thinking about my ex again and feeling sad. I wish the thoughts of him were like leaves, and I could just shove them down some river to float away and never come back.
Yes, L2L, I have friends in my life. Last wkend spent 4th of July with a girlfriend up North a couple of hours. She had a BBQ with her family. It was nice. But came back in the same funk. Had lots of offers for the 4th, which was nice. Came home tonight after work and slept. Not sure if it's because I was tired, or depressed. But feel slightly better at the moment.
Kelsh - I'm so glad your husband came home and that your lives are good together!
Still - yes, I'm mourning the loss. It's so stupid. I can't ever be with him again, yet I mourn. Blah.
Anvil - thanks for all the suggestions... yes, I take hormones to keep in balance.
Thank you ALL for your encouragement.
I know it's stupid, but I keep thinking that I'd rather live with him than die without him. It's not really true. If I went back to him, even if he'd take me back, which he probably wouldn't, I'd surely die with him. And I'm not going to die without him. Even if I felt suicidal, I couldn't do it because it would hurt so many people, and I wouldn't do that.
It's tough. But I know I'll get through it. I'm so glad you all are there with me. And I'm sorry to those I've encouraged in the past who now see me struggling.
Kelsh - I'm so glad your husband came home and that your lives are good together!
Still - yes, I'm mourning the loss. It's so stupid. I can't ever be with him again, yet I mourn. Blah.
Anvil - thanks for all the suggestions... yes, I take hormones to keep in balance.
Thank you ALL for your encouragement.
I know it's stupid, but I keep thinking that I'd rather live with him than die without him. It's not really true. If I went back to him, even if he'd take me back, which he probably wouldn't, I'd surely die with him. And I'm not going to die without him. Even if I felt suicidal, I couldn't do it because it would hurt so many people, and I wouldn't do that.
It's tough. But I know I'll get through it. I'm so glad you all are there with me. And I'm sorry to those I've encouraged in the past who now see me struggling.
The Road Less Travelled
Tigger, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for!! What you're feeling is completely natural! I'm reading M Scott Peck's 'The Road Less Travelled' (well, re reading it. I read it a few years ago when I was still with XAH and didn't 'get' it). I read some of it last night that made me think of you:
The Healthiness of Depression
...the feeling associated with giving up something loved - or at least something that is part of ourselves and familiar - is depression. Since mentally healthy human beings must grow, and since giving up or loss of the old self is an integral part of the process of mental and spiritual growth, depression is a normal and basically healthy phenomenon....
...they frequently desire only relief of the symptoms of their depression "so that things can be the way they used to be". They do not know that things cannot be the "way they used to be". But the unconscious knows. It is precisely because the unconscious in its wisdom knows that "the way things used to be" is no longer tenable or constructive that the process of growing and giving up is begun on an unconscious level and depression is experienced. As likely as not the patient will report "I have no idea why I'm depressed" or will ascribe depression to irrelevant factors. Since patients are not yet consciously willing or ready to recognise that the "old self" and "the way things used to be" are outdated, they are not aware that their depression is signalling that major change is required...
This also struck a chord with me. I was with XAH for 18 years and for much of that time struggled with depression. I had no idea why! Guess I'm a real slow learner. Stubborn to change. Not willing to accept. But I'm learning now and my depression is lifting! A lot of me 'died' at the end of my marriage. But that isn't a bad thing. Something needed to die for me to be reborn. I'm rediscovering myself and creating the person I always wanted to be. I'm trying to change my patterns of thought and behaviour that hurt me. A few pages on, M Scott Peck says "this lifetime is a series of simultaneous deaths and births...It is also clear that the farther one travels on the journey of life, the more births one will experience, and therefore the more deaths - the more joy and the more pain."
Sweetie you are in the pain part of the process right now but you will get to the joy. Follow the 12 steps. Accept your depression. Accept your life is changing. Have faith that you can get through this. Keep doing all the right things. You will get to the other side, don't ever doubt it.
The Healthiness of Depression
...the feeling associated with giving up something loved - or at least something that is part of ourselves and familiar - is depression. Since mentally healthy human beings must grow, and since giving up or loss of the old self is an integral part of the process of mental and spiritual growth, depression is a normal and basically healthy phenomenon....
...they frequently desire only relief of the symptoms of their depression "so that things can be the way they used to be". They do not know that things cannot be the "way they used to be". But the unconscious knows. It is precisely because the unconscious in its wisdom knows that "the way things used to be" is no longer tenable or constructive that the process of growing and giving up is begun on an unconscious level and depression is experienced. As likely as not the patient will report "I have no idea why I'm depressed" or will ascribe depression to irrelevant factors. Since patients are not yet consciously willing or ready to recognise that the "old self" and "the way things used to be" are outdated, they are not aware that their depression is signalling that major change is required...
This also struck a chord with me. I was with XAH for 18 years and for much of that time struggled with depression. I had no idea why! Guess I'm a real slow learner. Stubborn to change. Not willing to accept. But I'm learning now and my depression is lifting! A lot of me 'died' at the end of my marriage. But that isn't a bad thing. Something needed to die for me to be reborn. I'm rediscovering myself and creating the person I always wanted to be. I'm trying to change my patterns of thought and behaviour that hurt me. A few pages on, M Scott Peck says "this lifetime is a series of simultaneous deaths and births...It is also clear that the farther one travels on the journey of life, the more births one will experience, and therefore the more deaths - the more joy and the more pain."
Sweetie you are in the pain part of the process right now but you will get to the joy. Follow the 12 steps. Accept your depression. Accept your life is changing. Have faith that you can get through this. Keep doing all the right things. You will get to the other side, don't ever doubt it.
Last edited by bookwyrm; 07-10-2010 at 02:30 AM. Reason: typos...
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