I was always honest with my RAH, and I always said as much as I understood at the time. But I remeber when I realized for the first time my H is an A, it took me awhile to say it. I guess I wasn't too convinced myself, and I was afraid if I say it I'll make matters even worse between us. I think initially I was confusing too many of alcohol related problems for relationship problems. But once I became aware what is really going on, I had no problem saying it. Do I need to say it didn't change anything?
It took only to nearly die of liver cirrhosis for him to realize it.
So IMO there is no much point in saying to someone you're an A or anything else really, I know if I could resist temptations of talking some sense into him, I'd spare myself quite a bit of agony. Now when I think about it all those conversations felt like I was talking to myself, he'd only say few simple sentences to get me off his back, which by default left me feeling even more angry and resentful.
It usally went like this: Me: "You're an A, yada, yada, yada...."
Him: "I don't know what are you talking about"
or "What's wrong with you?"
or "I don't feel like talking now."
Fun, isn't it?
But we live and we learn.
