I'm glad you are renewing your commitment. I made a lot of promises to myself over the last couple years of drinking and wasn't able to keep them, but it did make me more and more aware of my alcoholism.
Finally, after lots of trying, something clicked. I KNEW in my heart that if I didn't do something, I would continue to drink and wind up with no life, alone, in the hospital, or dead. Every drink brought me closer to that reality.
It was reading all the posts here at SR that did it for me. I read dozens and dozens of pages in the Newcomers Section and saw my past, present and future - it took away that last bit of denial.
We'll be here for you on day 1, so don't give up!!