timeheals! Love your name...
Originally Posted by
timeheals 
Hi all,I came here on Friday and spent hours reading, and in that gained more strength and understanding. It is this that gave me the strength to finally and truely confront my husband.
You seem to have a good grasp of the understanding of the disease... it is progressive... it will get worse.
I feel strength. I feel saddness. I morn the man that I loved so much, and the life we could have had together. I feel for my children, and the effects that staying or leaving will have on them. I feel that denial has been my worst enemy, yet understanding will be my new best friend.
I also went thru this exact pattern of emotions... I just couldn't understand how someone would give up their family for booze.. it just doesn't make sense does it... guess what... it never will make sense to us... that's why it's important for us to take care of us.
Good for YOU that YOU are choosing to understand the effects of staying or leaving will have on your children... if you stay you are possibly teaching your children a set of debilitating and codependent skills that they will potentially carry for the rest of their lives...... if you leave... you teach them empowerment. It is just as important for you to understand what the effects are for you as well.
I know the end is near, and I know my husband will not try to save this, he will be too busy wallowing in a bottle, telling people how unreasonable I am.
The end of chaos, verbal abuse and not knowing is near... a new chapter of enlightenment, friendships and self love is beginning. You taking care of you and your children... will not be perceived as unreasonable.
I love(d) him, I can't save him. This is not my battle to win. Nor is it my resposibility to save him. Only he can do that. I have made peace with my decision.
Thank you all for listening to me, and to all that have shared their stories, it has helped me.
I loved my ex too... I couldn't save him either... you are right HIS battle is not for YOU to win... however... YOUR battle is for you and your children to win... to live with respect and love.... the just rewards for such a battle won.
((hugs)) You are not alone.