Shame Kat, I understand how you feel, it just breaks ones heart when someone you loved so deeeply just goes off the deep end... Being a daughter of an AF who rarely contacted me only by letters from rehab, they somehow just manage to find a way to survive, unfortunately for me, my family and his family (excl. me) wrote him off, so each time he came out of rehab, he got a job and had some cash but then straight back to the bottle! it was really heartbreaking, no matter how hard people tried they just couldnt help him he died age 45, too drunk, got knocked over by a car, i was 15. So I pray for you and your family and esp. for him that GOD will help him see the light, Even now my own AH is going through this, it is just such a bad, sad, disease, I found (of course a few months worth), he cleaned up his empties, about 40 - 750ml bottles of brandy and 30 small bottles beer, and he still refuses to face facts, how can one see all that and not blink an eye, he was drunk/mellow again last night. I am trying hard to be neutral. I'll pray for us Kat, GOD can do the impossible, just have faith!