Hang in there kat. Take care of yourself and the kids. It is okay to care if that person is alive or not, but from a distance. You are doing the right thing by staying no contact. He is a big boy and he is responsible for himself, not you. If he falls he falls. It is not for you to rescue the alcoholic, because you can't. Be there for your kids, stay strong, as others have said come here and vent if you feel a need for contact. Hell come here for any reason. There is wisdom and caring here.