Hi Steve and welcome
I'm glad you decided to post. You're right - It's ALOT different when it's your own story and you hear support from others who know what you're going through. And we do know how you feel.
I thought I had a lot of good reasons for drinking: insomnia, stress, depression, anxiety, the past, the future, relaxing, helping me to enjoy things...... you name it, alcohol seemed to fix my mood. But as we both know, it not only doesn't last, it turns around and bites us in the a** big time.
What we're really doing is pouring toxin into our bodies and thinking we're doing OK. It's not until we get sober that we even realize how bad we were really feeling most of the time. I'm glad you're here and hope you keep posting!