Anxious...But Hello Im Steve
Hello all and welcome, my name is Steve.
I feel horrible about saying this, but I think I am an alcoholic/drug addict. As were going along I hope everyone knows that I have been putting this post off for days thinking about what to say because part of me is embarrassed and worried that people will think and/or will put me down…. I don’t know why it’s just a fear.
Anyways… a little about myself. I am a chef (I hate being called it lol), I am 23 years old, i'm in Georgia now, and I don’t have tons of friends. No one would really know that thou because when i'm out and about (say walmart), I can laugh and blend in and be really who ever I want to be. I'm very involved with life, I love gardening for example. But there is a dark side to me, I like booze around me too much. I don’t always act out of line, matter of fact most people consider me very mellow and fun to be around. However I have to have a drink all day everyday, not to say that I become wasted…. but a nice buzz all day. I used to make a joke saying that I’m an endurance drinker lol. I don’t know, I think its just time and in my brain i'm to young to continue to behave this way, after all I do want to become something. Sorry i'm rambling, but I think it’s kinda nice to eventually just say something and now maybe to stand up for myself? Weird most people would think I don’t have a problem with that being 6’1 and 200lbs with a sleeve, but most people are stupid so hey lol.
But I have been behaving this way for years…maybe 4? 5? I’m not sure but hey who does really. I don’t know what theres to say….part of me thinks I can defeat it all on my own, but I’m not sure if that’s the case. What was some of your little stories? Similar? Well see. Thanks all for listening, ill try to keep this updated and as honest as I can.