"I am afraid to make him feel self conscious.
I am afraid to make him feel bad.
I am afraid to make him afraid that I might leave.
I am afraid to put him on the spot."
1. You are afraid. Fear can be paralyzing. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
2. You are more concerned about how he is going to react than you are for your own well-being. You have not identified why you have a problem with his drinking, O/T for the benefit of the kids.
3. You are obsessed with his behavior.
4. You subconsciously think that you have the ability to control another person's thoughts and feelings.
5. Your anxiety stems from the fact that you cannot reconcile the 'good' him with the alcoholic him.
6. You are not aware that this person likely KNOWS he has a drinking problem.
All of these things are not uncommon. Most of us here have done all these things too. Pay attention to those things that are said here that make you angry. THose things will clue you in to where you are likely in denial.