BullDog777

I usually wake up pretty happy, ready to start the day.

However, today i'm all twisted around the axle over a VERY vivid drunk dream i had.

Most of my friends growing up were a bunch of criminals and we all would drink and do tons of drugs . So there I was, back with them smoking cheap cigars and slugging moonshine that tasted like fine lighter fluid... It felt like it went on the whole f-ing night.

It was so real, i remembered the taste and the smell.


This was only the second time in sobriety i think i might have had a desire to get plowed....and maybe that's not even the right phrase-

i didn't want to get wasted when i woke up-

bear with me if i ramble for a minute because i'm writing this as fast as i'm feeling it.

in the dream, i knew it was wrong, i knew it would ruin everything and i did it anyway. i woke up feeling disgusted and angry, and needed to get my feelings out. i could taste the cigar and the booze in the dream and it tasted GOOD. i really felt like i was getting drunk and high in the dream.

except there were no consequences in the dream like i know there would be in my life. if i got drunk, i would lose my wife and daughter. i would lose my place to live. i would ruin my health again and it would certainly- this time, end my life.

sigh....


i think i'm gonna go eat some breakfast and hit my heavybag until i can't lift my arms.

thanks for listening.