Fascinating..what I learned about myself last night
Hello ((SR)))
So last night's date was successul in a different way than my expectation, after really thinking about this I realized I was being really negative. I made a friend now. Granted he isnt the one but guess what, he was a gentleman, I had nice conversation, he invited me out again and I have a new friend. I wanted to write this because I feel last night I got wrapped up in the poor me attitude and that shouldnt be the case. Gratitude for what I have.
But more importantly, he is a very type of individual than I am..He is very adventurous and I am not. LOL. I play it safe but that is just me. So when he was saying stuff like his boat, his bike etc. I flatly told him, I have no interest in those things so you wont be finding me on your bike but maybe the boat. LOL. And it seemed like he was pushing me to become more adventuresome and teasing me but I stuck to my guns and said, "I appreciate your lifestyle and respect it but I dont have to try those things and dont care to and I am fine with my lifestyle although I appreciate your invites." Yes, little me said this without batting an eyelash and all of a sudden he started packpedaling like we can take the car etc. But for me it was a red flag..I dont need him to change his lifestyle to accommodate me as I know the resentments that can cause and I dont need someone to expect me to change mine because they think so. Yes ladies and gents, I have evolved enough to see the insight inside my gut. So I told him, we can be friends and hang out but we are too very different people and I dont care to get into a situation that would definitely get messy down the road because of conflicting personalities.
I have changed and I am so proud of myself for getting to a point of self care, looking out for what is best for myself no matter what the other person says and treating myself with the respect I deserve. Alanon is truly a wonderful tool. So I learned a lot about my recovery last night. It was a gift to see how far I have truly come. Woohoo
And as dear Alice pointed out, how nice to be focusing on a date and myself and my future than my stxah. What a change in direction I made. Woohoo
Hugs
Lulu