Thanks for all of the good advice and support.
I am feeling a bit better now after a good night of rest. Fell asleep looking at the full moon, with the moonlight slanting across my pillow.
I have to try and remember that my whole life, right up the the point I decided I wanted things to change, was like an enormous blockage. Now that it has been removed, it will take time for all of the negativity, depression and stinking thinking to drain away. Still lonely and wistful, though.