Originally Posted by
DirtMagnet 
I have a job. Child support - not so much. The state is involved in that one but the wheels roll slowly. I'm not really looking to define myself by a man. I'm just lonely. To quote a movie "I think if you put my heart up to your ear, you could hear the ocean."
I love my kids a lot. A LOT. But lets face it, it is just not the same as an adult. I need more.
I feel like a fly, banging against a clear window, trying to get out. I can see what out is, I just can't get there.
I'm hearing two thoughts...
1). I'm not really looking to define myself by a man. I'm just lonely.
2) I want love. The kind that brings you a washcloth when you are feeling sick. One that calls home at lunch to see how you are doing. Who cuddles with you when you are falling asleep. I want someone I can do those things
for as well.
You're lonely and you want physical contact.
Perhaps your loneliness could be alleviated with a hobby ... photography, botany, volunteering at local humane society... all good ways to meet grown-ups.
I seldom get lonely and I'm alone most of the time... I have numerous hobbies and I'm renovating a historic home... myself. So I'm constantly scouring over new articles of "how-to" and building my computer file with "love that" photos... I can't afford many of the ideas right now... and that's ok too... cuz if I do see a "love that" bargain... I'll be prepared to snatch it right up. (it's amazing the things people throw out).
I just started reading "Codependent No More" and I'm realizing that it's starts and ends with me... so maybe that's a good place for you to start too.
Take care.