Originally Posted by
Buffalo66 
I do talk to someone at the shelter hotline here. He heard me one day. I told him it was my old alanon sponsor, that she was having problems. He bought it, but...I dont know when I can get out from under this. Everytime I am on the computer he asks real loud who I am writing to.
He does/has not physically assaulted me for 4 tears. He knows better. This is all verbal. He attacks my spiritual work, my career(which was very successful), saying that it was a fluke.
He calls me stupid all the time, and he tries to have sex with me after that. I refuse and he threatens to leave. I have not been having sex w/him unless he treats me kindly.
I need to write this book, sell my art, I need long term income, I need to do it. He rips down the idea of the book, also, every chance he gets. He implies that everything that I claim happened in my life is a lie, and no one wants to hear it. Its trite, stupid.
He tells me Im a bad mother. He says Im stupid ALOT. And really, I have no doubt that my intellect is up to par. I know who ia am . Am]nd while I may be weak, washed up, getting older...I KNOW I am not stupid.
Now he is here. I have to deal with it until I get myself togethere. My friend suggested writing a book about him, so I can somehow be compensated for all my grief.
Im sorry. I have to go Thanks you every one. I have to do bedtime stuff.
Also remember Buffalo when they are tearing us down they are doing it to make themselves feel better as they are so scared to look into the mirror and examine their own faults and weaknesses. Instead they decide to rip apart those around them to temporarily dull the pain inside of them.
They are projecting their problems on us, when he is calling you stupid, etc... He is really projecting how he feels about himself onto you, only he is too much of a coward to dare say it to himself.
Trust me my AW can get this way when she goes on a binge. I actually pity her. It is sad. At the same time do not let it affect your self esteem . You gotta let it roll off your back.
Above all else
take care of you and your son!