Rose,
There is no need to force anything that you are not ready for. Do you have Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie? There is a page about waiting. It is posted here as well...somebody help me here and bring it up...
If you don't know what to do...work your program, strengthen your relationship with your HP and be quiet and listen. You will know what to do when the time is right. Choosing to do nothing is an action...you can choose to stay married "One Day a Time". You don't HAVE to do anything.
It took me many years of rcovery to ask my son to move out, I waited for the right time because I knew that I would torture myself over it and I finally had a moment of clarity and I knew that is what I had to do and there was no doubt in my mind when I finally did it.
There was a point as well when I told Ward " I am not going anywhere today, but don't expect me to stick around forever if this behavior continues" Ward has mellowed with age and I am still here, but at the time I was not sure.
It doesn't sound like you are ready..don't force it...work your program and get your focus off him. Really it CAN be done.
Love, JT
Last edited by JT; 07-23-2002 at 12:32 PM.