Hey there, don't beat yourself up... the most important thing is that you came back and you are sober today. Get up the courage to get to that meeting... I was terrified the first time I went and now I'm practically addicted to aa meetings.
How did I get sober?
Well, I had a RILLY RILLY bad night drinking and had had enough; I spent 9 months dry and going to AA meetings without really getting it. Tumbled one more time- back to AA and found an incredible sponsor. With the meetings, my Big Book, and my sponsor, I have a support line that I can reach out and grab anytime of the day or night.
what does it feel like?
SO freeing! I still get mystery bruises but now I know they are not from drunken stupidity... Hangover free is amazing, and not having to compromise because I've been drinking is DA BOMB DA%$ DIGGITY.
Social situations? for me, this is different than for most other people. I play music for a living so I MUST be in places that serve even though I'm not drinking. Diet Coke is my best friend, and on the breaks, I have things to do- mingling with people who came to see us... selling stuff... putting the next set together... there's no reason for me to go to the bar. If people offer us drinks I either decline or order a virgin pina colada.
My suggestion for you would be to initially avoid those places and situations that will only fuel temptation.
You can do this! Keep coming back.