So are you here because of your dealings with an alcoholic or are you here because you are trying to figure out how to get back with him? I'm not judging, just asking.
Ginger, you can STILL have ALL that for yourself, but I think you might need to make some changes. I am sorry you are having financial difficulty but if you are making that much, you should be able to get yourself on your feet and fix your financial issues. You don't need HIM to have what you want, that was my point. There are entire families raising children on a third what you make (maybe not in CA though). I'm not a financial advisor but I've read enough books and articles on the subject and at your salary you should at least be contributing the max allowable to your 401(k). Maybe downsize your place to reduce your rent? I had roommates for YEARS to help pay the bills, until I could get some money socked away. IDK, just some ideas. I wonder if you aren't still holding onto him because of the finances, not necessarily because he is the "right" guy for you?