Learn2Live

GingerCharlie,

Do you want to know the biggest difference I see between YOU and HIM? YOU ARE COURAGEOUS!!! and he is not. Go back and read your posts, even just on this thread alone. Look at how much you are willing to SEE and accept and share about yourself! Do you see what you are doing here? You are looking at yourSELF and trying to make you better. Do you know how RARE that is in people? Seems like EVERYbody walks around in their own little world, justifying all their bad behavior and here you are, on a website, SHARING and admitting to who you are. In the raw. THAT takes courage and you, girl, should feel PROUD of this. Hold your head up high.

Don't get me wrong, I have BEEN you. I have cried, begged, groveled, ALL of that. I have been the most pitiful creature you could imagine. You would just shake your head and walk away wondering, "What the hell is WRONG with that girl?" So, I hope you know I am not judging you at all.

Now this:
is a HUGE clue for you!!! You are just TOO smart!! You ALREADY know what it is you want for your self and your life. He was just a means, an opportunity, through which you could accomplish what you wanted. OK, maybe he is cute or something but really, if you think about it, there is nothing really that special about this guy other than your feelings for him. It is all about YOU and trusting your instincts and following your heart. And I can assure you at my ripe old age of 42 LOL, having gone thru something like eight major relationships, that your feelings and tears and desires are about you, NOT HIM. The tears you shed for him are just misdirected tears you are truly shedding for yourself.

So guess what? When you have your dreams and desires HANDED to you, it does NOTHING for you. It's empty because you did not have to work for it and you did not grow from it. The idea in your brain was lovely, but the feeling you got in your gut was nil. Of course it didn't feel special, you are RIGHT, it came to easy. And really, there is so much more SUBSTANCE in life than decorations and furniture and a well-appointed home. Was your desire to do this because you wanted a well-appointed home to share with a man? Or was it because you are a born artist with a flair for decorating? Was the PROCESS of putting it all together what you enjoyed? Look for the REASON why you wanted to do this and re-discover your natural abilities and strengths. Look for YOUR STRENGTHS and your dreams in what you think you have lost. GingerCharlie, honey, NONE of it had ANYTHING to do with HIM--It was all about YOU from start to finish. You have to look past the pain, past what you see as a LOSS in your life, past the longing and desire and tears for HIM and find YOURSELF and your POWER. It is there, I assure you. But only you can find it.

Here is another HUGE clue for you:
You need to learn how to take care of yourself financially so that you do not have to rely on ANYONE. You see, in this relationship with this boy with deep pockets, you were dependent on his money to make you comfortable, yes? And the fact that he has so much money allows you to breathe a little easier and feel a little more carefree. Having been there, I understand, but have to tell you, there is no better feeling on earth than to KNOW you can support yourself, live comfortably, and not have to rely on ANYONE for your own life and maintenance. And then comes the part where you can afford to help out those less fortunate than you are. That is truly satisfying.

So, the lesson in this is, look at YOURSELF and figure out where to develop YOU so that you can stand on your own two financial feet. Do you need to get a degree? Do you need to change jobs or careers? Go to the library and check out some books on financial freedom for women. Google it. You will find all KINDS of information on how women can attain financial freedom. But it means first accepting 100% of the responsibility for yourself.