First of all, I'm amazed that every thread I've ever seen with OT in the topic wasn't OT at all. I don't know about you, but I no longer compartmentalize my recovery. It pervades every aspect of my life!
You said:
...teachers are not supposed to feel this way! They're supposed to love their job 100 % all the time (or at least that is the impression I've received from those teachers who made a huge impact on my life when I was a student).
They are? I don't know of anyone, regardless of their field, who loves their job 100% of the time. That black and white thinking, that all or nothing thinking caused me a lot of grief in my life.
I'm going to speak from the perspective of a student. I've done on-campus classes, from 88-95, here and there where I could. 9 months of that was attending technical school for certification in computer programming. There were no non-traditional students besides me in my tech classes. There were very few for the business classes at a community college.
Now I'm getting my degrees online through a community college 40 miles away. The seating on campus was not going to work for my degenerative disc disease, and I didn't have to worry about student loans for gas back and forth.
I am so grateful for the instructors I have had. I am not afraid to ask questions. I am not afraid to ask for help. Last year when I ended up in the hospital for 3 days, all my instructors worked with me. I will always remember the instructors I've had. Even the rather clinical and detached PhD instructor for psychology taught me a lot!
I can't imagine what it's like to have so many who are unmotivated. I don't have what it takes to be a teacher. I admire those who do.
You are the only one who can truly assess whether you need to spread your wings elsewhere! We can change old dreams! If you feel you want to pursue other areas, by all means, do!
The only constants in my life are God and change.