OT: Not sure I can do this forever
Climbing hills, flying down...
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
OT: Not sure I can do this forever
As I finish up another semester of teaching (college), I find myself with the usual feelings of stress and "burnout" that accompany the end of each teaching segment: the stress of piles of papers to review, grades to calculate and post, and the 2 classes to prepare for that start in two weeks.
And I find myself wondering, after 8 years of teaching PT, how much longer can I be a teacher? And that thought makes me feel so guilty, because I never thought I'd be one of those people who ended up leaving the profession. I became a teacher because I wanted to--I fell in love with English, literature and writing when I was 21--and I knew then that I wanted to be a college teacher. And I worked very hard--for 12 years--to get where I am today.
And here I am...and I'm tired. Tired of feeling dismayed when my students are not motivated to learn. Tired of giving my ALL in the classroom to minimal results. Tired of the cheaters (plagiarism is rampant at this level) and the excuses they give. Tired of students picking up their phone mid conversation and leaving the classroom! Teachers aren't supposed to feel this way...are they? I don't know what's going on--I thought 8 years ago that I had made up my mind to do this for the rest of my life because I loved it, but now I'm not so sure.
I recently started another PT position working for a nonprofit, and I love it. It feels like my calling, what I'm meant to do. And I'm thinking that maybe I should be moving in the direction of finding full time work in this new field.
But I feel disappointed in myself for spending so much time / $ going to graduate school to pursue teaching college, disappointed that I can't see myself sticking it out for another 30 + years, and disappointed in myself because teachers are not supposed to feel this way! They're supposed to love their job 100 % all the time (or at least that is the impression I've received from those teachers who made a huge impact on my life when I was a student).
Don't get me wrong; it's not all bad. There are moments--I call them light bulb moments--when my students "get it" and we have incredible discussions and I leave the classroom feeling fresh and energized. I love it when I turn difficult students around and students leave my class better readers, writers, and thinkers. But I'm realizing as the years go by, these moments are few and far between. Students seem less and less interested in wanting to learn. And that makes me sad. I'm very much a communicative, student-centered teacher, and it doesn't seem to be working out like it used to.
Maybe I'm feeling this way because it's the end of another semester and summer school is right around the corner. Maybe I need a break. Or maybe I do need to switch gears. I'm finding that the stronger I become in other facets in my life--i.e. with my family, with my AS--the stronger I feel about other aspects of my life that I am not satisfied with.
Has anyone else experienced this feeling: a need to change other areas of your life as you begin to change yourself?
Thanks for listening, everyone. Your feedback is invaluable.
And I find myself wondering, after 8 years of teaching PT, how much longer can I be a teacher? And that thought makes me feel so guilty, because I never thought I'd be one of those people who ended up leaving the profession. I became a teacher because I wanted to--I fell in love with English, literature and writing when I was 21--and I knew then that I wanted to be a college teacher. And I worked very hard--for 12 years--to get where I am today.
And here I am...and I'm tired. Tired of feeling dismayed when my students are not motivated to learn. Tired of giving my ALL in the classroom to minimal results. Tired of the cheaters (plagiarism is rampant at this level) and the excuses they give. Tired of students picking up their phone mid conversation and leaving the classroom! Teachers aren't supposed to feel this way...are they? I don't know what's going on--I thought 8 years ago that I had made up my mind to do this for the rest of my life because I loved it, but now I'm not so sure.
I recently started another PT position working for a nonprofit, and I love it. It feels like my calling, what I'm meant to do. And I'm thinking that maybe I should be moving in the direction of finding full time work in this new field.
But I feel disappointed in myself for spending so much time / $ going to graduate school to pursue teaching college, disappointed that I can't see myself sticking it out for another 30 + years, and disappointed in myself because teachers are not supposed to feel this way! They're supposed to love their job 100 % all the time (or at least that is the impression I've received from those teachers who made a huge impact on my life when I was a student).
Don't get me wrong; it's not all bad. There are moments--I call them light bulb moments--when my students "get it" and we have incredible discussions and I leave the classroom feeling fresh and energized. I love it when I turn difficult students around and students leave my class better readers, writers, and thinkers. But I'm realizing as the years go by, these moments are few and far between. Students seem less and less interested in wanting to learn. And that makes me sad. I'm very much a communicative, student-centered teacher, and it doesn't seem to be working out like it used to.
Maybe I'm feeling this way because it's the end of another semester and summer school is right around the corner. Maybe I need a break. Or maybe I do need to switch gears. I'm finding that the stronger I become in other facets in my life--i.e. with my family, with my AS--the stronger I feel about other aspects of my life that I am not satisfied with.
Has anyone else experienced this feeling: a need to change other areas of your life as you begin to change yourself?
Thanks for listening, everyone. Your feedback is invaluable.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 218
Hey Faraway,
Yes and yes! And I think it's part of recovery. Codependency, alanonism, whatever you want to call it, is not just about relationships I don't think. I've been cranky with work issues, cranky with treatment by old friends, and cranky with myself lately. I think it's like growing out of a sweater - as my recovery progresses, things are feeling tight and scratchy and a little overheated at times. Add to that the fact that not everyone likes it when you start new behaviors and I think that the beginning stages of recovery are really challenging. Starting to see patterns and feel upset with areas where I've allowed myself to be taken advantage of (or encouraged it, if I'm honest) is really hard.
So I totally hear you - sending you a big hug.
SL
Yes and yes! And I think it's part of recovery. Codependency, alanonism, whatever you want to call it, is not just about relationships I don't think. I've been cranky with work issues, cranky with treatment by old friends, and cranky with myself lately. I think it's like growing out of a sweater - as my recovery progresses, things are feeling tight and scratchy and a little overheated at times. Add to that the fact that not everyone likes it when you start new behaviors and I think that the beginning stages of recovery are really challenging. Starting to see patterns and feel upset with areas where I've allowed myself to be taken advantage of (or encouraged it, if I'm honest) is really hard.
So I totally hear you - sending you a big hug.
SL
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
I think it's natural to feel that way, as we improve on ourselves, it opens our eyes to all the possibilities we never saw before.
I got off track when I started dating my XAGF, she did not like what I did and I caved. This is one of the hardest faults I have found in myself on my inspection of my faults.
I am damn good at what I do, and to think that I was talked out of it at any point is hard to think about.
One of the last things she told me is that I need to take a break from what I do and try something else. I finally realized the break I needed was her, not my dreams.
I got off track when I started dating my XAGF, she did not like what I did and I caved. This is one of the hardest faults I have found in myself on my inspection of my faults.
I am damn good at what I do, and to think that I was talked out of it at any point is hard to think about.
One of the last things she told me is that I need to take a break from what I do and try something else. I finally realized the break I needed was her, not my dreams.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,057
I can relate to much of what you have shared, Faraway. I started my teaching career (high school and middle school) 24 years ago. There will always be the students who just don't care, even when you give it your all, which I bet you do. I learned early in my career that if I give my best and always look to improve where I can with honest effort, then then rest is up to them. We have a lot of fun in my classroom and I work hard to keep things interesting and relevant and engaging...but there are some who (for a lot of different reasons) aren't interested in learning.
I understand teacher burnout! Thank God we have the summer to rejuvenate and look forward to new classes in the fall. Maybe the break will bring you that new energy that you need, but if not, it might be time to follow your interest in the non-profit field, especially if you feel that much passion for it. Don't worry about the degree you've earned not matching the job exactly...wouldn't you rather be happy than exhausted and burned out, trying to stick with something just because your degree doesn't match your job title? What you have learned and experienced in the teaching profession almost certainly will help you in another profession.
Have you ever thought about teaching high school students? Or teaching college classes online? I know that some online undergrad and grad programs aren't very reputable, but I've been earning my master's degree through an online university and the one I am "attending" is excellent -- I am having to work hard to earn every grade -- there is a lot of reading, participating in legitimate thought-provoking discussions, writing, and creating of projects. I have learned more than I imagined I would.
Yes, change can be really exciting! I switched my subject matter and grade level 2 years ago because I was feeling many of the same things you are right now. I am extremely happy with my choice. I am feeling the call to teach at the college level sometime in the future as well.
Follow your instincts. You will know when the time is right for change. I think it's exciting for you!
I understand teacher burnout! Thank God we have the summer to rejuvenate and look forward to new classes in the fall. Maybe the break will bring you that new energy that you need, but if not, it might be time to follow your interest in the non-profit field, especially if you feel that much passion for it. Don't worry about the degree you've earned not matching the job exactly...wouldn't you rather be happy than exhausted and burned out, trying to stick with something just because your degree doesn't match your job title? What you have learned and experienced in the teaching profession almost certainly will help you in another profession.
Have you ever thought about teaching high school students? Or teaching college classes online? I know that some online undergrad and grad programs aren't very reputable, but I've been earning my master's degree through an online university and the one I am "attending" is excellent -- I am having to work hard to earn every grade -- there is a lot of reading, participating in legitimate thought-provoking discussions, writing, and creating of projects. I have learned more than I imagined I would.
Yes, change can be really exciting! I switched my subject matter and grade level 2 years ago because I was feeling many of the same things you are right now. I am extremely happy with my choice. I am feeling the call to teach at the college level sometime in the future as well.
Follow your instincts. You will know when the time is right for change. I think it's exciting for you!
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Absolutely, yes. When I first got into my Recovery about 13 years ago, after a few months of baby steps, and once mostly out of my depression, I started making major changes in my life. I started taking RISKS I had never dared to even dream of. And with each new risk came new successes, until I decided that progressive change was the lifestyle for me. I would not commit to anything for more than a handful of years at a time. Change is truly good. Of course, you must maintain some measure of stability but I say Leap and the net will appear. (That is actually a quote but I do not know the author). I heard it once 13 years ago, wrote it down and have taped it up as a reminder everywhere I have lived since then.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Houston
Posts: 19
Faraway,
As a fellow teacher (although with 8th graders currently) I know the feelings about which you are speaking. I, and a number of my fellows, have been feeling the same way, questioning our decisions. I do think that it's not uncommon, given that the pace at which we operate during the school year, to feel like we're in transition when the year/semester ends. I feel a sense of loss and have trouble adjusting to having all this extra time on my hands, which can be both good and bad in that I tend to end up spending a lot of time puttering around without direction and spend a lot of time in my head.
I teach all gifted & talented kids and even I am dismayed at how indifferent some of the kids are about learning. I know that I make a difference to some of them, providing the encouragement to stretch themselves and develop more curiosity about the world in which they live. It's hard, sometimes, to watch some of the others take such a lazy attitude (including using someone else's work as their own) and I wonder if it's worth it in the long run. But, and this is a big but, if I can make a difference to one student, then I feel like I've done my job to the best of my abilities.
I did decide that this summer I was taking a break. Normally I teach summer camp and I'm currently doing post-graduate work and would be taking classes this summer, yet I deemed it necessary to take some time just for me. I felt the need to explore my own life without being so busy trying to plan lessons, grade papers, or chase kids around the nature reserve. I will probably take advantage of the time to work on my 4th step.
There are other things going on in my life that are causing me to rethink the direction my life is going. I'm not sure how things are going to play out and I would like to think that I'm going to come out on top no matter what happens. As it turns out, taking the summer off will give me the time to recharge my batteries and figure out quite a few things so I'm looking forward to doing some work on me rather than on 150 students.
On a more frivolous note, I did make a minor change in my life to start the ball rolling. I went for a pedicure and had my toes done in the most beautiful, vibrant, sparkly, purple I could find.
Totally out of character for me, but I love it! Just looking at my little piggies makes me smile.
I caution you to not make a decision about leaving teaching at a time like this, when you're feeling tired and burnt out. It's much better to make a decision like that when we are feeling at the top of our game, otherwise it's possible that we could start second-guessing ourselves and regret enters the picture. It's not a decision that needs to be made right now, so give yourself some time. And, if you do decide to leave, it doesn't have to be permanent.
Hang in there.
As a fellow teacher (although with 8th graders currently) I know the feelings about which you are speaking. I, and a number of my fellows, have been feeling the same way, questioning our decisions. I do think that it's not uncommon, given that the pace at which we operate during the school year, to feel like we're in transition when the year/semester ends. I feel a sense of loss and have trouble adjusting to having all this extra time on my hands, which can be both good and bad in that I tend to end up spending a lot of time puttering around without direction and spend a lot of time in my head.
I teach all gifted & talented kids and even I am dismayed at how indifferent some of the kids are about learning. I know that I make a difference to some of them, providing the encouragement to stretch themselves and develop more curiosity about the world in which they live. It's hard, sometimes, to watch some of the others take such a lazy attitude (including using someone else's work as their own) and I wonder if it's worth it in the long run. But, and this is a big but, if I can make a difference to one student, then I feel like I've done my job to the best of my abilities.
I did decide that this summer I was taking a break. Normally I teach summer camp and I'm currently doing post-graduate work and would be taking classes this summer, yet I deemed it necessary to take some time just for me. I felt the need to explore my own life without being so busy trying to plan lessons, grade papers, or chase kids around the nature reserve. I will probably take advantage of the time to work on my 4th step.
There are other things going on in my life that are causing me to rethink the direction my life is going. I'm not sure how things are going to play out and I would like to think that I'm going to come out on top no matter what happens. As it turns out, taking the summer off will give me the time to recharge my batteries and figure out quite a few things so I'm looking forward to doing some work on me rather than on 150 students.
On a more frivolous note, I did make a minor change in my life to start the ball rolling. I went for a pedicure and had my toes done in the most beautiful, vibrant, sparkly, purple I could find.
Totally out of character for me, but I love it! Just looking at my little piggies makes me smile.I caution you to not make a decision about leaving teaching at a time like this, when you're feeling tired and burnt out. It's much better to make a decision like that when we are feeling at the top of our game, otherwise it's possible that we could start second-guessing ourselves and regret enters the picture. It's not a decision that needs to be made right now, so give yourself some time. And, if you do decide to leave, it doesn't have to be permanent.
Hang in there.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
PS Many of us make excellent decisions for ourselves at age 21 that we eventually outgrow as we age. Doesn't mean that it wasn't an excellent decision, or that it was a wrong decision, or even that we didn't reach some goal we had set for ourselves. You don't have to be disappointed or dissatisfied or even have to have a "valid" or rational reason--you can make a major life change just for the fun of trying something new!! 
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Faraway,
I don't know how much sober time you have, but I tend to trust my gut. The job I am doing now hardly even existed when I was in my 20s - and certainly today it is done with a completely different set of tools. Also of course, it was not what I took in school. There were no university classes on my profession in the 80s. I learned on the job and made a conscious decision to change careers.
If we get and stay sober, we can often grow into new careers. Non-alcoholics do this all the time. No need to feel bad about it, most people are not the same people that they were 5 years ago, especially us alcoholics. IMHO this is normal.
I don't know how much sober time you have, but I tend to trust my gut. The job I am doing now hardly even existed when I was in my 20s - and certainly today it is done with a completely different set of tools. Also of course, it was not what I took in school. There were no university classes on my profession in the 80s. I learned on the job and made a conscious decision to change careers.
If we get and stay sober, we can often grow into new careers. Non-alcoholics do this all the time. No need to feel bad about it, most people are not the same people that they were 5 years ago, especially us alcoholics. IMHO this is normal.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 31
Are you a tenured professor, or an adjunct? As an adjunct, you are grossly underpaid, and this must factor in. If you were earning $80,000 with pension + summer off, you might feel differently. You might simply need a break. Can you take the summer off to clear your head?
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Originally Posted by KnowAFew 
Are you a tenured professor, or an adjunct? As an adjunct, you are grossly underpaid, and this must factor in. If you were earning $80,000 with pension + summer off, you might feel differently. You might simply need a break. Can you take the summer off to clear your head?
When I started recovery, I started to look at everything differently. Including my chosen profession. I'm not ready to jump--yet. But I am definitely working towards doing something that lights my fire, rather than something that pays well. It would be nice to have both, but if I have to choose, I will choose passion over stability.
I am making small, slow changes, which is new for me. I've always been kind of a knee-jerk decision maker. Now, I am looking to the future through a new awareness and calculating where I want to go and the best way to get there. But, I am no longer willing to set aside my happiness for money. That's a big switch from where I was a few years ago.
L
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
Wow--thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses. Yes, I'm an adjunct...and I think that's part of the frustration for me--the "will I have a job 3 months down the road?" thing gets tiring after awhile. I am teaching summer, but I then have a 2 month break between summer and fall, so...maybe I just need a break right now.
I feel a bit guilty complaining in the sense that I chose this field--no one forced me to go into teaching--and I am lucky to have a job!
My second job will give me a bit of perspective and allow me to think about changing careers a little bit further...
A few of you pointed out that is is normal to have dreams in your early 20s that change as you grow older...back then, I had such a romantic notion about what teaching was like (probably in part because I had a huge crush on one of my professors, lol), and thought it would be all roses, that I could get them to want to learn and to be as passionate about my subject as I am...but I'm realizing that reality is quite different...and it is really hard--really hard to be a good teacher, I mean. And that's what I strive to be.
All food for thought...thank you all for your great responses.
I feel a bit guilty complaining in the sense that I chose this field--no one forced me to go into teaching--and I am lucky to have a job!
My second job will give me a bit of perspective and allow me to think about changing careers a little bit further...
A few of you pointed out that is is normal to have dreams in your early 20s that change as you grow older...back then, I had such a romantic notion about what teaching was like (probably in part because I had a huge crush on one of my professors, lol), and thought it would be all roses, that I could get them to want to learn and to be as passionate about my subject as I am...but I'm realizing that reality is quite different...and it is really hard--really hard to be a good teacher, I mean. And that's what I strive to be.
All food for thought...thank you all for your great responses.
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
p.s. Chiaroscuro,
It's funny you mentioned nail polish, because this afternoon I painted my toenails a bright, mutant, Incredible Hulk green, and it did make me feel better!
It's funny you mentioned nail polish, because this afternoon I painted my toenails a bright, mutant, Incredible Hulk green, and it did make me feel better!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Posts: 6,278
Oh, the other thing I wanted to say is that your education is not wasted, no matter what you decide to do. The things you learned in order to get that degree will stay with you in any career or profession.
My sister got a BA in Theater Arts. And she actually worked in that field for over ten years. Now she is in a completely different field, and still using the things she learned in college. Education is never wasted.....
L
My sister got a BA in Theater Arts. And she actually worked in that field for over ten years. Now she is in a completely different field, and still using the things she learned in college. Education is never wasted.....
L
A Pirate looks at 40
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
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Hey FFC,
This is normal, and yes you probably need a break, you are probably a little burned out, and with all the stuff going on with your AS it cannot be helping matters. Take a breather, step back, and follow your heart. At least it is easy to tell you that, not sure it would be an easy choice in reality. Anyway maybe finish up the summer session and use the 2 month break to meditate on your future goals and dreams. Of course get some cycling in there somewhere as well.
This is normal, and yes you probably need a break, you are probably a little burned out, and with all the stuff going on with your AS it cannot be helping matters. Take a breather, step back, and follow your heart. At least it is easy to tell you that, not sure it would be an easy choice in reality. Anyway maybe finish up the summer session and use the 2 month break to meditate on your future goals and dreams. Of course get some cycling in there somewhere as well.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Farawayfromcars....are you reading my mind from a distance?? That's what I thought when I read your post. I've been struggling with the SAME issue for the past few months, and the need to do *something* about my career has become more and more pressing.
Funny that you should mention being burned out by teaching...I am a former HS teacher who hasn't been in the field for a while and is thinking about going back or maybe doing an M.Ed., or...SOMETHING, because being a legal secretary SUCKS BALLS. Ok, it's not abusive or horrid, but it's sooo mind-numbingly boring I can't even describe it. Ask me why I'm on SR all the time
I agree with the pp that once you start making little changes, things SNOWBALL and sometimes the snowball can feel a bit clunky and out of control. On the days where I feel good about my life, I thank god for all the little changes that have taken place in the last 9 months:
I got a good job (+benefits) when the economy sucks the big one.
When I look at the list, I am astounded at the change that's taken place in my life in such a short amount of time. Perhaps making a similar list would help put things in perspective for you?
Of course, on "bad" days, where i feel super impatient with my life, where I want change *now damnit*, I have only commiseration for you, because I fully understand where you're coming from. Those are the days where I feel like grabbing the next snotty lawyer who staunters over to my desk to ask me to photocopy some legal document and smacking his head on the machine repeatedly to see if THAT makes him understand how to work the thing.
Funny that you should mention being burned out by teaching...I am a former HS teacher who hasn't been in the field for a while and is thinking about going back or maybe doing an M.Ed., or...SOMETHING, because being a legal secretary SUCKS BALLS. Ok, it's not abusive or horrid, but it's sooo mind-numbingly boring I can't even describe it. Ask me why I'm on SR all the time
I agree with the pp that once you start making little changes, things SNOWBALL and sometimes the snowball can feel a bit clunky and out of control. On the days where I feel good about my life, I thank god for all the little changes that have taken place in the last 9 months:
I got a good job (+benefits) when the economy sucks the big one.
- I found SR (!!!).
- I left XAH.
- I moved in with my parents.
- I started dancing tango again (!!!!!!!)
- I put DD in an awesome daycare close to home.
- I paid off all the debt that XAH put in my name.
- I reconnected with some good friends I'd given up.
- I got custody of DD.
- I got divorced.
- I got a new secured credit card to keep improving my credit.
- I started seeing someone new.
When I look at the list, I am astounded at the change that's taken place in my life in such a short amount of time. Perhaps making a similar list would help put things in perspective for you?
Of course, on "bad" days, where i feel super impatient with my life, where I want change *now damnit*, I have only commiseration for you, because I fully understand where you're coming from. Those are the days where I feel like grabbing the next snotty lawyer who staunters over to my desk to ask me to photocopy some legal document and smacking his head on the machine repeatedly to see if THAT makes him understand how to work the thing.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Posts: 673
Faraway,
My degree is in English Lit. I've been in the mainframe computer field for about 23 years. Now I'm going to school for a masters and possibly PhD in order to become a college professor. As others' have said; go with your gut, "Leap and at net will appear" (L2L - amazing quote!) if that's what your gut says. GO FOR IT! Also agree with whomever said your education never EVER goes to waste. Be encouraged Faraway!
Tigger
My degree is in English Lit. I've been in the mainframe computer field for about 23 years. Now I'm going to school for a masters and possibly PhD in order to become a college professor. As others' have said; go with your gut, "Leap and at net will appear" (L2L - amazing quote!) if that's what your gut says. GO FOR IT! Also agree with whomever said your education never EVER goes to waste. Be encouraged Faraway!
Tigger
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Wow Tigger, that is awesome (and kinda' hilarious) you have a degree in literature but have been working in mainframe computing. I also, at one time in my life long, long ago, before my high school English teacher talked me out of it, wanted to be a high school English teacher.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
First of all, I'm amazed that every thread I've ever seen with OT in the topic wasn't OT at all. I don't know about you, but I no longer compartmentalize my recovery. It pervades every aspect of my life!
You said:
They are? I don't know of anyone, regardless of their field, who loves their job 100% of the time. That black and white thinking, that all or nothing thinking caused me a lot of grief in my life.
I'm going to speak from the perspective of a student. I've done on-campus classes, from 88-95, here and there where I could. 9 months of that was attending technical school for certification in computer programming. There were no non-traditional students besides me in my tech classes. There were very few for the business classes at a community college.
Now I'm getting my degrees online through a community college 40 miles away. The seating on campus was not going to work for my degenerative disc disease, and I didn't have to worry about student loans for gas back and forth.
I am so grateful for the instructors I have had. I am not afraid to ask questions. I am not afraid to ask for help. Last year when I ended up in the hospital for 3 days, all my instructors worked with me. I will always remember the instructors I've had. Even the rather clinical and detached PhD instructor for psychology taught me a lot!
I can't imagine what it's like to have so many who are unmotivated. I don't have what it takes to be a teacher. I admire those who do.
You are the only one who can truly assess whether you need to spread your wings elsewhere! We can change old dreams! If you feel you want to pursue other areas, by all means, do!
The only constants in my life are God and change.
You said:
...teachers are not supposed to feel this way! They're supposed to love their job 100 % all the time (or at least that is the impression I've received from those teachers who made a huge impact on my life when I was a student).
I'm going to speak from the perspective of a student. I've done on-campus classes, from 88-95, here and there where I could. 9 months of that was attending technical school for certification in computer programming. There were no non-traditional students besides me in my tech classes. There were very few for the business classes at a community college.
Now I'm getting my degrees online through a community college 40 miles away. The seating on campus was not going to work for my degenerative disc disease, and I didn't have to worry about student loans for gas back and forth.
I am so grateful for the instructors I have had. I am not afraid to ask questions. I am not afraid to ask for help. Last year when I ended up in the hospital for 3 days, all my instructors worked with me. I will always remember the instructors I've had. Even the rather clinical and detached PhD instructor for psychology taught me a lot!
I can't imagine what it's like to have so many who are unmotivated. I don't have what it takes to be a teacher. I admire those who do.
You are the only one who can truly assess whether you need to spread your wings elsewhere! We can change old dreams! If you feel you want to pursue other areas, by all means, do!
The only constants in my life are God and change.
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
Thanks Freedom, you're absolutely right. I no of no one who loves what they do 100 % of the time. The black / white thing--something I'm working on. 
I'm happy that I will have a break after summer to think things through--then I'll only be working at my nonprofit job--and it will give me a chance to see if I would like to do this kind of work solely.
I think part of the prob. is that my school just went through many sh*tty lay-offs...I was laid off from one department of the school I teach in, and all of my friends were also laid off from that same department (they're basically overhauling the dept. and closed our section). I think of these people like family, so it's going to be difficult to say goodbye at the end of June (though we'll always be in touch).
I'm happy that I will have a break after summer to think things through--then I'll only be working at my nonprofit job--and it will give me a chance to see if I would like to do this kind of work solely.
I think part of the prob. is that my school just went through many sh*tty lay-offs...I was laid off from one department of the school I teach in, and all of my friends were also laid off from that same department (they're basically overhauling the dept. and closed our section). I think of these people like family, so it's going to be difficult to say goodbye at the end of June (though we'll always be in touch).
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