Hi Kae
Sorry you feeling so bad...my edperience was that by 3 months after my last drink i had finished all the steps and received the promises...obviously this is a longer period of time to work the steps than is highlighted in the Big Book by the founder members but some amends took a while to sort out e.g. financial...
A great question for me is why you are still on step 4 at 3 months?
I got a sponsor who has worked the steps to the best of their ability as quickly as they possibly could and they guided me through the steps in the same fashion...this is the only message of AA and the only way to recover from alcoholism...but at the same time you have to be willing to go to any lengths, that is your part to play in the steps...if you aren't willing to go to any lengths why woudl anything anyone did help?
Maybe you could get in front of a CBT counselor or addiction counselor too, i use this resource as well as AA and it has been a great asset:-)
Your post heading is Can a person fail thoroughly following the steps? why don you work them all and find out and report back...hope you do!