intention

I meant because you are dying or killing yourself - whichever way you word it, that's what's happening.

No rational thinking person would say that is a wonderful life.

Perhaps you just see the alcoholism as a part of that life that needs to be fixed but really it is your life right now because it is robbing you of everything.

If you had terminal cancer and the only way to save your life cost you your house, car, 6 figure salary, pension, lifestyle, I would be very sure that you would take the wife, kids and dogs and go and live out in a tent somewhere just to stay alive.

But you are going to die from alcoholism (or the heart attack, diabetes, cholesterol) and you can save your life and keep the car, the house, the salary, the pension and the lifestyle but you have to go to AA and work some steps but you say that you don't think that AA fits you.

This is what I mean by the delusion that alcohol creates or its playing tricks on your mind. I can see this. I would guess even your family can see it....but can you?

.....Now if you recover and you can, then you can really truly have a very, wonderful life.