Ok Pat. Going to be a bit blunt here. I had this same problem, over and over and over. At about 3 years or so sober, I had a BIG one against my current husband. Was over at my sponsors, ranting about it. My sponsor's hubby, (also in the program) sat me down and explained some things to me.
First, my resentments arise out of MY EXPECTATIONS of others. Then he said the following which has stuck with me for over 26 years now:
"What is he/she/it/they NOT DOING, that I WANT he/she/it/they to do, when I WANT he/she/it/they to do it, to MAKE ME MORE COMFORTABLE?"
Wow. Did that bring me up short. My expectations of others, to make me more comfortable. Be it job, a driver on the street, a cashier at the grocery store, a customer service rep, etc etc etc
So I had to started looking at ME, at MY PART, and see that I could and cannot rely on others to make me comfortable. I cannot fix others. Others are not perfect. Mistakes will be made. Sometimes accidental and sometimes intentional. I am not God. But ................. I can accept the 'things' that might cause me a resentment, as just another curve ball in life, and MOVE ON. The longer I hang onto a resentment, the longer I am denying myself of Happiness, Joyfulness and Freedom.
Pray for 14 days straight for each individual. If you miss a day start over. What I found ........................ after a few misses and having to start over, it just became easier to say "ah the h*ll with it" that person is just not worth my time and energy. That would allow me to stop renting space in my head to the individual, etc.
Don't know if it will work for you, but it sure worked and works for me.
J M H O
Love and hugs,