Hang in there. You definitely need to get out of that situation it seems but you need to be sober. With sobriety you can make the positive changes but you first need to get off the sauce. Even when we are sober......life will come at us so the change must come from within.
Stay strong and take it one day at a time. Keep posting!
Sunrise - I could've written your post verbatim. You wrote exactly what happened to me. Thanks for sharing.