Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
did it occur to you that maybe he didn't SIGN UP for your self improvement course? that maybe he's FINE as is? that maybe he doesn't need or WANT your HELP?
let's talk about this HELP thing........what exactly are YOU going to HELP him do??? and how are you going to go about it? what steps do YOU plan to take to HELP him? why are you so certain that you are the Sobriety Fairy and can just wave your magic wand???? what experience do you have in the field of abstinence and recovery from addiction? what resources do you have to draw from? what other lives are on your resume that you have HELPED and could act as a reference?
and ultimately, HOW IS YOUR OWN LIFE GOING? is it a shining example of a life fully and well lived? do you eminate joy and bliss? are you content and at peace with the past? have you thoroughly examined your own condition and made improvements where necessary? is your body/mind/soul triad in balance?
i think these are very REAL questions you should be asking yourself. looking at yourself...............looking inward.
While i would love to help him get sober, you're right, i dont have experience or qualifications in doing that and so i can only be there to support him. I am trying to accept him and the situation as it is - i dont like it but i am trying to accept it and see where that takes me. He often asks for my help but doesnt know what he wants me to do exactly. He says he is a better person around me and wants to be that person, but knows i cant be with him 24/7. I just want to know what the most helpful way for me to react to things is (helpful for me and him). I dont want to keep berating him for drinking, but i dont want to ignore it and pretend all is fine either.
I am doing ok in my life outside of the relationship in some ways. I enjoy some hobbies although i dont really enjoy work that much i have to stay there until my contract ends, and i dont see my friends as much as i'd like, but i think i'm doing ok. I know there are things to work on too, and i'm trying hard with that. I am focusing more on me and what i want, but i still want him too.