Thread: Newbie
View Single Post
Old 06-03-2010, 04:33 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
darlynn
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 4
Newbie
Well I've been sober since Saturday...this Saturday, so going on five days. I woke up feeling like I wanted to die. Both physically and mentally. It scared me. I don't want to wake up dead or in the hospital after a night of drinking. I don't have to drink on a daily basis, but I have really strong triggers to drink alcohol and I can not just have one drink. I binge drink. I drink to get drunk when I drink. I can't just have one. I will drink till I can't drink anymore. I'll black out - pass out, puke, smoke cigarettes. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to be 32 in a couple weeks and I have a loving husband, and two kids who need me. I have a 4 year old daughter and 10 month old son. This weekend scared me. I was hung over for three days. I thought I would be alright if I drank beer. Wrong. My husband told me that I woke up lost several times looking for the bathroom in my own house and I fell on the toilet. I also walked out prancing around buck naked in front of my mother in law. This is the first of many incidents and I am just sick of it and frankly quite scared of this destruction. I've met the traditional alcoholic definition since I was 14 years old when I ended up getting knocked up. I can go on and on. I will spare the drama. I always say I'm going to quit drinking or "I'm never drinking again" till the next time when I hear a rockin' song or my neighbors are outside grilling or if I just feel like having a beer. I'm ready to make a change. I need this if I want to survive. Thanks for having me. I look forward to meeting you all.
darlynn is offline  
Reply