Sounds like we are going through something very similar, except I am already married and my AH is just clean 3 weeks. Yeah, I know great, but it too early in recovery to know what the future holds. 8 months is longer than 3 weeks, but we both have hugh trust issues. Can you get past that? I don't know if I can?I am pretty skeptical needless to say. Sad I don't have a lot of faith in him but when you have been lied to so much why should I believe him now.
I also found myself walking on egg shells and didn't want to do anything to upset AH, so once again put my feelings on back burning. But that isn't fair or right!!!
One thing I would recommend like Freedom said, is getting the book Codependent No More book, TODAY. I have read through it twice. This book has helped me so much.
One thing is for sure, you have to put yourself and yourself son first.
Girl I am already married to this problem, but you are not!! So, why if you have a choice?? If you are having all these concerns now it is for a reason. Regular marriage is hard enough besides adding addiction and trust to the list even before you get married. Your gut is telling you something. I would listen!! I wish I would have listened to my gut earlier.