My EA forever in my heart died last year. Alone in his chair in his apt. He was weak from liver damage and continued to drink because I think he did not think he could stop the damage done and maybe he believed his time was up. I loved him although I broke up with him years ago we were always real good friends. He was kind and funny even though he was a drunk he wasn't mean or abusive quite the contrary! I will miss him forever. It took a long time to feel "normal" and I still miss him and get sad that he is gone. You know what they say; The person is not really gone forever if you still remember them or memories of them. You had time with him, he was in your life; that will not be erased. I hope you can forgive him because he was very sick. I also hope you will find strength.
I'm sending you a hug. I'm so sorry. Go get some tea and cookies, put on your pj's and get some deserved rest. One day at a time girl.
Cristina/925girl
You can always PMail me if you need a shoulder