XABF died today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: OK
Posts: 85
XABF died today
It's difficult for me to even call him my ex, because even though we split up last summer, we remained in daily contact.
I doubt many of you even remember my story. I didn't post here often but when I have it's always been because he was in the hospital sick and or dying.
Today he finally lost his battle with this dreadful disease at the age of 39.
He was a wonderfully gifted man with two young sons and a loving family. I loved him more than I've ever loved a man. He brought laughter into my life, but he also brought the nightmare that is alcoholism into it as well.
Last night I was finally able to crawl up into his bed with him as all the tubes had been removed. I know he knew I was there because he blinked when I asked him too. I just lay there with him telling him he was finally going to escape those life long demons and be at peace. I hope he finally is.
I am numb and saddened beyond saddened. I really thought he could beat this - we all did.
I have been looking back at pics of the trips we took together and how healthy he looked in all of them. Not a hint of the dreadful disease that killed him today.
I needed to tell all of you how helpful your posts have been to me while I've lived through this with him and his family.
I may not have posted much but on my bleakest nights I would log on and read here trying to find a glimmer of hope somewhere.
I wish for all of us to have peace and calm and an existence where we are free from the horrors of alcoholism.
I miss him already. Yes he brought hell into my life too but tonight I guess I'm only remembering the good times.
Love to all...
BrandiSue
I doubt many of you even remember my story. I didn't post here often but when I have it's always been because he was in the hospital sick and or dying.
Today he finally lost his battle with this dreadful disease at the age of 39.
He was a wonderfully gifted man with two young sons and a loving family. I loved him more than I've ever loved a man. He brought laughter into my life, but he also brought the nightmare that is alcoholism into it as well.
Last night I was finally able to crawl up into his bed with him as all the tubes had been removed. I know he knew I was there because he blinked when I asked him too. I just lay there with him telling him he was finally going to escape those life long demons and be at peace. I hope he finally is.
I am numb and saddened beyond saddened. I really thought he could beat this - we all did.
I have been looking back at pics of the trips we took together and how healthy he looked in all of them. Not a hint of the dreadful disease that killed him today.
I needed to tell all of you how helpful your posts have been to me while I've lived through this with him and his family.
I may not have posted much but on my bleakest nights I would log on and read here trying to find a glimmer of hope somewhere.
I wish for all of us to have peace and calm and an existence where we are free from the horrors of alcoholism.
I miss him already. Yes he brought hell into my life too but tonight I guess I'm only remembering the good times.
Love to all...
BrandiSue
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
(((((((((((((((BrandiSue)))))))))))))
Do remember the good times, mourn, grieve, be still for a short time.
Then remember why you had to move on last summer and be all that you can be from now on.
Do remember the good times, mourn, grieve, be still for a short time.
Then remember why you had to move on last summer and be all that you can be from now on.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
I always want to say the right thing here and always fear not saying the wrong thing or not saying enough.... so I simply want to send you a long hug and say I am so sorry for your loss. Will be saying a prayer for you, he and your loved ones.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
BrandiSue, I remember you well.
I get how it feels to see them vibrant and "healthy" and full of life.
This disease is horrible.
Take care of yourself. I hope you can grab a copy of "the language of letting go" and/or "the grief club" by Melody Beatty. The grief club is about going through all kinds of changes in our life, including death of a loved one.
I get how it feels to see them vibrant and "healthy" and full of life.
This disease is horrible.
Take care of yourself. I hope you can grab a copy of "the language of letting go" and/or "the grief club" by Melody Beatty. The grief club is about going through all kinds of changes in our life, including death of a loved one.
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
my thoughts and prayers are with you. my dad died of alcoholism when he was 45 and I never got to know him as i would have liked. my H is also an A and it is very hard to see how they destroy themselves. He is also the only man i ever loved and will love. I can only pray for HP to cure him.
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