Originally Posted by
codenameamy 
I don't think he really understands. In his mind I believe he thinks he has "won" this arguement and he's getting his way. He can do whatever he wants now and the old nag will leave him alone!! Yippee!
The only thing I struggle with now is that it feels like he thinks he has my blessing to smoke pot now. I want him to know that I still completly dissaprove with him doing this. I know he is an addict and even if it seems fine now it will eventually start to cause problems. He certainly does NOT have my blessing!
I had trouble setting boundaries for a long time, especially with my oldest daughter, now an active addict.
Instead, I would engage in power struggles, which always ended miserably.
This isn't a you vs. him thing.
This is about what you will and won't accept in your life and his children's lives.
My AD knows my home is an alcohol and drug-free zone, period.
She has not been welcome in my home for several years now. She can be stone-cold sober/not high, and she's still not welcome in my home. Why?
She's still an addict, without a solution, and with no desire to find a solution in her life.
I also don't allow stoned/drunk people in my home.
It's my home, my place of refuge.
My bar of standards is high these days, and I apologize to no one for that.
I spent far too many years lowering that bar.