Sometimes our enthusiasm takes us into a rush of words
that we haven't thought out carefully enough as to the
long term effects of what we have said. I have done this
in the beginning of my journey as I was so thankful to find
knowledge and wanted to act upon it as quickly as possible
thinking it would resolve some of my heartache and pain.
I would suggest that you totally understand boundaries as
it can lead us into a situation where as you stated he feels
that he now has an advantage toward smoking in the house
and with the children around. This is not where you wanted
it to lead..I understand where you were coming from as you wanted relief and wanted to set a definite line.
Take it slowly..boundaries are for us and we need to make
them knowing the consequences for us..Addicts that are
active will take whatever you say as an advantage towards
keeping their most beloved passion being drugs in the front of family, finances..love especially and will use whatever means they have to keep going forward in addiction.
We are often held hostage with our marriage vows as we
were totally committed to love,honor and obey. Always
remember that at the time of this bond, if they stated that
drugs were perhaps part of the bargain, you would have held back as it would have shocked you into another reality.
Be gentle and kind with yourself, you can always undo what has been said prior by being proactive toward your own recovery and seeing the realism of drugs as not being part of a family unity.
My best to you..keep reading and take some time to understand what you do or do not allow..it really is your call what you will tolerate..
I understand the love of a person, the hardest part in my life was to let my son go .. it hurt tremendously and at the same time was the most worthy decision I made.
lauren