Hey
well I am obviously no expert. but you have your head in the right place from what I read, so keep the strength. I have been through (at least in my experience) a crapload of addictions, early it was C and H, then around 20 yrs ago quit that and guess what started... a 'little' drinking (ironically I never liked alcohol until my 30s). Do I think about it? Not as much now but I sure did, and I know how high and numb I could feel if I did. I came to a conclusion on those things that I really don't want to be numb, there is more to life than that, Much more. I am battling as you know my last addiction- alcohol- and I thought C was bad???? I kicked that with no problem. Maybe its because when you go to a restaurant they don't bring an appetizer tray out with lines of H and C on it. Whatever the reason- it all brings you down.
Love to you- you are a nice person.
Dub