hi Love....congrats on your sobriety. I believe it's difficult to have a partner that continues to drink while you are working on recovery. One thing that was difficult for me to wrap my head around was the difference between boundaries, acceptatnce, and control. That was (and still is) hard for me.
I'm trying to define what my bottom lines ares and the consequences that come with them. The nice thing is that it can be evolving as I grow and understand my needs better.
I bet that as you work a recovery you'll learn more about yourself. The things that I found to be acceptable 5 years ago are no longer acceptable. I want more serenity in my life and am willing to take the steps that have that happening. I finally am valuing my emotional sobriety way more than any relationship that I am in. That was something that was a big switch for me.
Today I am working to accept that if someone behaves in ways that are unacceptable for me (not judgement of the other person but with the focus on what is ok by me, for me, and with me) then that is an indication that I need to detach....whether is is to leave the room, the house, or the relationship.
Take care!