Originally Posted by
Pagekeeper 
Do you have a sponsor?
This is the type of situation I bring to my sponsor. I don't always know what the next right thing to do is, and my sponsor can help me figure that out.
Of course, if you have a good sponsor, they may want to figure out how YOU are being selfish, dishonest, and self-seeking in this situation.
This is a very important point and i am pretty sure we are not talking about blaming ourselves here but could be read as that...
It is crucial that we look at ourselves and understand why we are doing the things we are doing, in this situation why is it that A is bending over backwards to 'help' B when A doesn't really want to...
Is it help that is the driving force or people pleasing or low self esteem...what? Because if we don't look and see are we the selfish one, are we being dishonest with ourselves and maybe the other person, are we desperately seeking approval, are we setting expectations of ourselves that no human being could live up to?l etc then this is sure to keep repeating itself...
I couldn't see the wood for the trees on issues like this and i forgot to add to my previous post that i DID discuss this with my sponsor because i needed someone who was less 'crazy' than me to figure out why the hell i kept getting myself into these scenarios and then getting pissed off at the other person because i had put myself in the same situation again but with a different person!
And, on the sponsor point, lets face it how the hell am i going to look at myself from a detached perspective on any matter...i am human and have feelings and emotions, i can't just objectively turn them all off and have the same view as somebody else?!