Kmber2010

I am doing my best with sobriety and making positive changes all around. One of the areas of change has been friends or my social network per se. When I moved to Germany, it was such a transition and one that left me depressed. The adjustment to being a military spouse and leaving everything I know behind was rough. I turned to my drinking as needed durning this time.

One of the folks who befriended me was a spouse of one of hubby's coworkers. Another military spouse who shared much of what I was going through. She got me and even though she wasn't probably someone I would be friends with back in the states....well she helped me here and I helped her. Long nights, being alone, frustration with military policies....blah blah. We did connect.

As time went on she explained how she suffered life long from depression, etc. She had a rough past and well.....I certainly wasn't going to judge since I had a drinking problem. No judgement, no gossiping blah blah.

Things changed. She became a bit dominant and motherly like. She was dealing with her own issues of constantly thinking her hubby was cheating on her. Ok so she had marital problems. I thought she was paranoid personally but ok.

Well she did a few things that pissed me off. I called her one night crying to vent as a friend because hubby was upset and took off when he found out his mom was in the ER back in the states. I vented to her as a friend would do.....needing help. She on her own made a call to his boss who came to our house. That wasn't the help I needed. I kinda sucked it up though in my head that maybe she made the right decision and I was inexperienced.

Another time while her hubby was gone....I sent mine over to help her with a car problem. She needed more help and my hubby offered to talk to his boss to get time off to help her. Instead of waiting....she called HIS boss directly demanding that he take time off to help. I mean f*cking really? I flipped at her but still forgave her. Again giving in.

Many other things happened and I forgave because she tolerated my drunken melt downs, etc. I felt lowly and depressed as you all know how we can feel under the influence of booze.

We had a final meltdown back in April which is when I got sober. We agreed we both had issues, I apologized at snapping (yet again f*cking aplogizing) and we parted ways.

She has since been calling on and off and I haven't returned nor taken any of her calls. So she messaged me a few weeks back.....rehashing our last argument and that she forgave me and things in her life were bad....she felt karma. I responded nicely and said....I am sure you will be fine and no its not karma but sometimes $hit happens.

I ran into her the other night while I was out with hubby and she was with some mutual aquaintences. Well that happened to be the day after I found out about hubby's breakdown at work. We were just going to play some slots and vege. Just relax. She was rude and didn't even say hi when the others called me over. I was polite, brief and went on my way.

She then has been sending me emails about my behavior, how I am talking about her and whole bunch of twisted crap she is making up in her head. I asked the another person who was there that night if they felt I was upset with them. They said no. I said ok, I got a message from XYZ that you did. She said I never said that and XYZ is on new depression meds so might be messing her upstairs. I told XYZ this and told her she needed help. She also is acting like her husband is affected by this. WTF?

I am seething angry. Prior to sobriety I would be massively binging right now I am sure. How do I handle this situation. I haven't talked about her with anyone.

I am 41 days sober and have cut off most contact to avoid drama and to focus on me. I got a job, dealing with my medical problems and focusing on hubby's depression and possible suicidal thoughts. WTF more can I do here.

My hubby wants to talk to her husband to tell her to stop and to show him the message thread from her. It is all in writing since I won't talk on the phone. She can't lie about this you know. She obviously won't stop and I feel like she is stalking me.

To add on.....do you know she came to my house unannounced back around Xmas? She was upset I didn't go to her house for dinner and while we talked about it on the phone.....she drove to my house because in her words to me "I had to confront you face to face." I don't dig on that crap. My home is my sanctuary and I don't want it invaded.

Any suggestions here. I think she is a total nut who is obsessed with hubby and I.

Thanks guys. Trust y'all more then people here. I got sober and remain sober with all your support.

Kim