WELCOME! We have VERY Similar stories, VERY! I am glad you are here, there is a lot of help to be found here.
I am currently opn day 3 of not drinking after my last embarassing antics to my husband this past weekend, but that is not why I chose to quit drinking, it was a long time coming and it was for me. I have been going to AA for 3 days, praying a lot, using this website a lot, taking all of the advice and assistance provided to everyone in AA and this board who i can tell knows what they are talking about b/c they are sober and thats what I want.
I have some substance issues I am dealing with as well
but its the end of the road of all that for me and I feel relieved about that but I am just begginning to see all of the work there is to do, b/c I have tried many times at this before and was unsuccessful and now i am ready to do it the way everyone at AA and on this board got their SOBER TIME.
I wish you the very best, I can tell you peopl ehere are wondeful, you should read read read, dont be scared to post and figure out what you are going to do for yourself first, of course your familly and BREAK THAT CYCLE, thats whay I am doing for my embarassed husband, pooor 3 and 1/2 daughter, and simply for my LIFE and to find myself again b/c I have been mentally checked out for a long time from family, friends, everything but what I wanted to be doing and that way of life wasnt working and still isnt.
For me I am choosing AA, God and this website as my support b/c I have tried just about everything else and it hasnt worked, basically cutting corners, and doing it my way so I could still drink/use/and be in control, which had lead me to lose all control in my life.
The only people I have ever seen get sober and happy, which is an important component b/c I have seen people not drink/use but not untangle the messy lives they have created through their use of alcohol/drugs and they are not happy like those at NA/AA, so I am choosing to try it their way and doing EVERYTHING they suggest, again b/c for me, and I have been at this trying to get sober thing (not consistantly) but for practially my entire aduly life (at 33 and except for during my entire pregnancy thank God) and all of the ways I have previously tried have not worked, so I am going to try the proven methods.
Good luck, i hope you stick around.
<3 Dream