I have heard many people in alanon say that the biggest gift you can give your child is your own recovery. I beleive it.. it's leading by example. When we are living and having healthy relationships, it is a stable place in their crazy world that they can look at and say'hey, that looks better than what i have". It's why I keep going to alanon.. those people are happy! I want to be like them.. and sometimes I even am!