Hello pipkin, and welcome to SoberRecovery
Originally Posted by
pipkin 
... There's a different history, power dynamic, etc when it's your parent....
Yes of course there is, and you're absolutely right. ACoA was never intended for that particular relationship. The organization that is designed for adults dealing with adult family members that are actively involved in alcohlism is al-anon.
You can find them here
Al-Anon and Alateen
we have a forum "next door" for friends and family
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Most of the current members are spouses of alcoholics, but you will find that their issues are _much_ closer to what you have mentioned than what ACoA is about. Please take a little time to check out these other resources and see if they are more suitable to your needs.
Of course, you are welcome to continue using the ACoA forum, whether it fits you or not
Mike