hey you guys
i'm sorry that i haven't posted in awhile, that don't mean that i don't think of you guys often, i still pray for all of you and your loved ones on a daily basis, i still come to read and visit the arcade. i guess i've just been taking some time out, trying to work on getting my life moving while trying to figure out whats going on with my stepson. i got a pm from a dear friend and felt the need to check in and let you all know whats been going on and that we are basically ok.
lately i've been struggling not to accept this guilt that my stepson seem to want me to feel because i can't be comfortable allowing him to stay here with us, day in, day out, for the past couple months while making little to no effort to look for work and just plain doing nothing except watch tv, almost 20/6.
i mean i took care of him while he was little but now he's 27 with 3yrs of college, has his own apartment and truck, for whatever reason, left the police force and seem to rather stay here day and night and do absolutely nothing as i can tell, not even for himself and i'm suppose to be alright with it. i would tell all of my adult kids the same thing but i guess because he's not really my kid then he should be an exception to the rules.
when i ask him what was the problem, if he need help with anything, he says everything in his life is just fine. i mean i don't understand and i'm beginning to feel used. i let him know that i do care about him and would help if i could but when i try to explain how i feel about him staying here like this, he tries to take me on this hard guit trip."no body loves me, nobody cares".
i explained to him that i want to see him to do good but that i couldn't provide for him now that he's a grown man. its not like he don't have plenty of biological family members in the area even though i know that they are not responsible for him either.
he says that what i'm feeling and trying to say to him, don't make sense to no one. maybe you guys can help me to understand. why do i have to feel obligated to allow him to lock up his place and come stay day and night here, wk after wk for months without leaving for anything, while doing nothing, yet maintain his own apt. i just don't understand and i don't read minds.
not gonna re read this, i'm just sending it and i hope it makes sense to anyone who want to share their thoughts.