I can't control it anymore. I find it hard to speak to him wheni know he's been drinking. But according to him this makes him worse.. he says that he doesn't deserve my silence.
But if i speak, i'll just get angry. He went for a drink today and i left him to it... car journey back was in silence... he obv continued to drink once i dropped him off as i've started to receive the text messages.
His last text i just receved was that the only thing keeping him alive is guilt. I know from what hes said in the past he means guilt that his family woud be left in despair if he commit suicide and thats the only thing stopping him from doing it.
Saturday.. we had absolutley great weather n all i wanted to do was sit in a park n relax with him.. all he wanted to do was find a beer garden n drink. So i left him to it.. if we talk about it, i'm not dealing with it correctly, if i leave him alone when he wants to drink, I'm not dealing with it correctly.
I can't take this anymore.. he continues to drink n drink. i'm falling apart. I feel so let down all the time. How can someone hate themselves so much enough they want to kill themselves.. when really theres actually nothing wrong with him other than a curable addiction? I dont get this anymore.