Funny you should mention that your family doesn't get boozing. For many years before I succumbed to the illness myself, I didn't get it either. I watched my brother destroy everything in his own life, and lots of stuff in mine - and I simply hated him for it.
I wrote him off, didn't speak to him for a decade, and watched as my parents and sisters gave up on him also, with the internal satisfaction that he deserved it for being such an irresponsible and selfish *****.
It took me 20 years to catch up to his alcoholism with my own, and now I understand fully how he simply couldn't help himself. It makes me sick to know I did nothing to understand his illness and only berate him for his constant slips.
Recently called him - first time in years - and gave him the most personal and heartfelt apology I could, because knowing what alcohol has done to me has shown that he was the victim of a horrid and clever disease and at no time just being irresponsible or careless. My entire family had it so wrong, and he didn't deserve that kind of "tough love" from any of us. He suffered not only alcoholism, but the years of continual shame, thinking he let us all down. In truth it was us that let him down.
Just thought that was worth mentioning.
Good that you're hear wichitaks, you've found the right place for sure. The people here will "get" you, they/we understand the problem, and people I've met here have truly helped me in trying times. Keep coming back cuz the advice here is golden.
