pipkin

I've looked through ACOA sites before, and realized that they aren't meant for me. But this forum seems to be bigger than others I've looked into, so maybe there is someone else here in my situation?

I'm the adult child of an alcoholic, but I was NOT raised by an alcoholic. Which is not to say my childhood was perfect (or without any verbal/emotional abuse, for that matter), but I was not directly exposed to substance abuse (in fact, I was shielded from the addictions of extended family members) and I am not dealing with the unique problems that are a result of that early exposure.

My mom did not start her slide into alcoholism until I was in my mid-20s. Now I'm 30, she has been to detox once and then rehab a year later and is now drinking again. I'm dealing with questions like, Will I ever get my "real" mom back? Will I be able to let my future children (near future!) spend time with their grandma? How do I handle each visit back home? How do I support my younger siblings, who have had to deal with more of this at a younger age than I did?

And honestly, I'm a little frustrated that 95% of the advice I find for ACOAs assumes that you yourself are dealing with the aftermath of an alcohol-tinged childhood, and that assumption colors all of the advice. Yet not all of the advice for friends/spouses/etc feels quite relevant when it's your parent. There's a different history, power dynamic, etc when it's your parent.

I'm sure this is a rare situation - how many people develop alcoholism in their 40s after never having ANY problems with it before? But is there anyone else here in a similar situation, or has anyone run across resources for those of us who are?