I think when I started out this topic, I should have just said I was surprised that a couple of people I'd become rather close to in the last few years had a half-memory about my mentioning what I went through and had begun to change. And then the apparent lack of 2+2 on what alcoholism/post-drinking means was astounding to me.
When I gave it some more thought, I looked at the fact that I had been a vegetarian a long time (lacto-ovo, only included dairy and eggs) and then reincorporated fish and fowl not that many years ago. One or two people needed to be reminded that I was OK with fish and chicken and turkey again. I avoided the temptation to be miffed about their not remembering it. And the same appears to have happened here with my alcoholism topic.
But I left the dinner/party last night feeling very loved.
There's not much more I can explain about this. I think it's just one of those times that people don't internalize something they normally would do. I also thought back on a time nearly 20 years ago that a friend asked about my father as though he were alive (but he had talked to me at length about my father's death prior to that). Sometimes we forget things that should be etched into our minds a lot more clearly and then we make these really strange mistakes.
As far as whether to tell close friends or not, I don't really have anyone else left that fits that category. And then on the less intimate level, when people don't know and it is more about avoiding the "same old questions" about why you don't want alcohol, I suppose I would be able to use my methods from the vegetarian thing, and I mastered almost completely how to avoid exasperation there in the days when I was more of a strict (lacto-ovo) vegetarian.