I can't change the past... only what I do today. Letting go and letting my HP is one of the hardest things for me, but if I dwell on my mistakes, or my victimization - it will make me sick. I have to move on. Lots of things loved, lost, and handled badly back there in the past. Many more things to love, keep and handle properly today. When my backpack of crap gets heavy - time to take some stuff out. Its not so heavy today, because I try not to put things in there in the first place, though there is still some weighty items inside. When I realize fully that vengence is not mine... they too will be gone.
I'm not perfect, and not entirely forgiven for all the mistakes I made. I will work to forgive myself, and hopefully those that I hurt, will forgive me in time. Amends are all I can to to that effect.