Anvilhead basically asked the question I was going to ask. When he wasn't dealing with this issue with his father did he show you the attention you wanted? Was he there for you emotionally? Depending on the answer to those questions would determine my suggestions.
If he did show you attention and affection before this situation arose, maybe at this time while dealing with his father he needs you to be understanding.
If he never showed you this attention, why would you expect it from him now?
He sounds like a dry drunk. He needs to really get with a sponsor and start working, and more important, living the principles of the 12 steps in his life. He needs to show up for life and start acting like an adult. Being responsible and accountable for his actions.
In any relationship there is a time for one to be there to support the other, and times when the roles are reversed. Most of the time the love and support should be equal.