I know exactly what you mean... If I don't get on SR and read and think and read some more...and analyze, I'll just go backwards...and I WON'T do that. I didn't realize after years of going to a co-dependent meeting at my church that I was a co-dependent until I came to this forum. I just thought, "Well, AH has a title...addict, so I guess he wants to stick me with one too to make himself feel better." Little did I know how liberating it would be to understand that my problems weren't AH and his addiction...they were all about me and my co-dependency...and I came to that realization through reading the threads from this forum. Since then...my life has slowly gotten better...one day at a time!!!