had an interesting realization

Old 05-21-2010, 06:04 PM
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Location: huntington wv
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had an interesting realization

First the short, but funny, tale of exabf: He called me from a new number, but I knew it was him because of the Ohio area code and the prefix. He left a message along the lines of "I wanted to let you know I got a letter from my lawyer today. I didn't read it, but I'll call you from this number when I do. I'll leave you a message and let you know what it says, so don't block the number." UH DUH...of course I'm gonna block it. There was that tinge of curiosity/pity, wondering if the letter gives him a date he will go to prison...he said he feels like hes going to die. He doesn't know when but he knows it's very soon. That must feel so odd...but anyway, I blocked the number this morning.
Now to the realization. I was talking to my ex husband about this board, all the help I get here, and he asked me why, if I was really done with the A, was I still here, and I realized for the first time, that it really ISN"T ABOUT HIM. I'm here for me, to fix me, not just deal with his ****. It was good to be able to articulate that. Thank you all so much for you help and support
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:18 PM
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((Detaching200)) - I came here because #1 I'm an RA, but mostly #2, I was an UNrecovering codie. I'd split up with XABF # THREE and didn't want to find a #FOUR!

SR is for me, too. I've found I need to get to know ME before I even THINK about dating again, and that codie stuff appears in all aspects of my life (my job, at home, etc.) so I NEED this place. Codependency isn't like my addiction..I can't abstain from people. Soooo, as long as I'm living, I think I'll be here

Hugs and prayers!

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Old 05-21-2010, 06:28 PM
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I with you - this has nothing to do with any addict on my life. It's for me. I am a card carrying member of the anon world until my last breath. I am hard wired to have these issues and I will have to stay connected to recovery for the rest of my life to stay sane.

It helps me to know that I am not alone.
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:47 PM
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I know exactly what you mean... If I don't get on SR and read and think and read some more...and analyze, I'll just go backwards...and I WON'T do that. I didn't realize after years of going to a co-dependent meeting at my church that I was a co-dependent until I came to this forum. I just thought, "Well, AH has a title...addict, so I guess he wants to stick me with one too to make himself feel better." Little did I know how liberating it would be to understand that my problems weren't AH and his addiction...they were all about me and my co-dependency...and I came to that realization through reading the threads from this forum. Since life has slowly gotten day at a time!!!
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