Blogs


Notices

had an interesting realization

Old 05-21-2010, 06:04 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: huntington wv
Posts: 46
had an interesting realization

First the short, but funny, tale of exabf: He called me from a new number, but I knew it was him because of the Ohio area code and the prefix. He left a message along the lines of "I wanted to let you know I got a letter from my lawyer today. I didn't read it, but I'll call you from this number when I do. I'll leave you a message and let you know what it says, so don't block the number." UH DUH...of course I'm gonna block it. There was that tinge of curiosity/pity, wondering if the letter gives him a date he will go to prison...he said he feels like hes going to die. He doesn't know when but he knows it's very soon. That must feel so odd...but anyway, I blocked the number this morning.
Now to the realization. I was talking to my ex husband about this board, all the help I get here, and he asked me why, if I was really done with the A, was I still here, and I realized for the first time, that it really ISN"T ABOUT HIM. I'm here for me, to fix me, not just deal with his ****. It was good to be able to articulate that. Thank you all so much for you help and support
detaching200 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to detaching200 For This Useful Post:
Impurrfect (05-21-2010), Satya (05-22-2010), shockozulu (05-21-2010), StillLearning1 (05-21-2010), ThatLittleGirl (05-21-2010), wicked (05-21-2010)
Old 05-21-2010, 06:18 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Impurrfect's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,177
((Detaching200)) - I came here because #1 I'm an RA, but mostly #2, I was an UNrecovering codie. I'd split up with XABF # THREE and didn't want to find a #FOUR!

SR is for me, too. I've found I need to get to know ME before I even THINK about dating again, and that codie stuff appears in all aspects of my life (my job, at home, etc.) so I NEED this place. Codependency isn't like my addiction..I can't abstain from people. Soooo, as long as I'm living, I think I'll be here

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
Impurrfect is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Impurrfect For This Useful Post:
ThatLittleGirl (05-21-2010)
Old 05-21-2010, 06:28 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
lightseeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,688
Blog Entries: 12
I with you - this has nothing to do with any addict on my life. It's for me. I am a card carrying member of the anon world until my last breath. I am hard wired to have these issues and I will have to stay connected to recovery for the rest of my life to stay sane.

It helps me to know that I am not alone.
lightseeker is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lightseeker For This Useful Post:
Impurrfect (05-21-2010), ThatLittleGirl (05-21-2010)
Old 05-21-2010, 06:47 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
ThatLittleGirl
 
ThatLittleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 273
I know exactly what you mean... If I don't get on SR and read and think and read some more...and analyze, I'll just go backwards...and I WON'T do that. I didn't realize after years of going to a co-dependent meeting at my church that I was a co-dependent until I came to this forum. I just thought, "Well, AH has a title...addict, so I guess he wants to stick me with one too to make himself feel better." Little did I know how liberating it would be to understand that my problems weren't AH and his addiction...they were all about me and my co-dependency...and I came to that realization through reading the threads from this forum. Since then...my life has slowly gotten better...one day at a time!!!
ThatLittleGirl is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:15 PM.