Hi Kris,
My story is very similar to yours & parts of others that have posted. I had a very tramatic/ overwhelming event happen that put me into a shock that took several years to be able to handle. I can bring it up in my mind as if it happened yesterday instead of 25 years ago.
When I was to the lowest point in my mind & soul I did go ask for help. I was self-medicating major depression & anxiety for four years by not taking my meds & drinking every night after work for four years.
I went to Mental Health to make an appointment for an assessment of my alcoholism & depression. They treated both at the same time with counseling, meds, & AA Meetings. My depression had been dx when I was a teen & progressively got worse as I got older & had added stressors.
That was 21 years ago. It was a long road with twists & turns but I made it. I still take antidepressants for a chemical imbalance in my brain that can still cause my moods to go up & down but mostly up these days.
I had help from lots of people & support from my family. It took a long time for my youngest daughter to trust me but she eventually became a part of me again. We would talk about how she had to take care of herself with her Juvenile Diabetes like I had to take care of myself with my alcoholism & anxiety/depression. I got re-dx with depression nine months after I quit drinking at a Emotional Health Unit in a hospital. I also had a medical detox in our local hospital when I quit so didn't have bad withdrawals.
I went to in-patient alcohol treatment after three months of sobriety...did attend AA Meetings every evening. I wanted to be sober for myself more than anything else in my life or I wouldn't have had a life anymore. I was 48 years old when I quit. Sober Recovery & all it stands for has helped me more than I can ever believe. It helps me to share my experience, strength, & hope with others so they can find what I have.
kelsh