Summer vacation alone is something I look forward to !! when I lived in Finland I took a cruise to Stockholm by myself... it was a great trip. No one to complain about the loooooooooooooong walks I took... no other set of eyes to judge or distort my experience of the city. I enjoyed the Vaasa Museum and took my time reading the signs and sitting there in a dark room listening to Old Norse being spoken.
Yesterday I found myself walking near where XABF and I first spent a few days, we were SO IN LOVE THEN and I was so incredibly happy. I felt I needed to cry so I just did. We had so many plans!!
Nothing went "as it should have been" according to ME. But I don't have the whole picture.. God has it.. God decides what's best........ you got to trust something greater is watching your back. Its like when they clean a huge graze... yes it HURTS A LOT!! but it is a temporary thing so you heal... if untreated things get MUCH WORSE.
After crying a little I remembered how I texted him saying I felt like hell due to flu and it may not be the best idea for me to take a 7 hour bus trip with air con. He got SUPER angry and insulted and there I go... the martyr..
At that house I was superhappy and had plans BUT I was also a doormat. Do you think he cared for me while I was there.. .nope..we went on a Marathon to buy HIS washing machine, utensils etc...
I was also there to meet HR for a prospect company and he said he would take me there... well HE decided WE wouldn't be going. Later HR asked why I didn't go and I felt so stupid, being it the #1 reason I decided to travel ill.
So when you play all the tape through anger comes... and its such a relief the past is the past, and you look forward to your life!!
Sorry for rambling so much!! I get it. And I support you..