Your description of your bf (I want him. I hate him. I love him. I miss him. I despise him.) really crystalizes for me the fact that this man--and I use the term very loosely here, is your *drug*. Talk to hardcore addicts and ask them to describe the relationship they have with their drug of choice...the description is very similar to what you stated about your bf.
I honestly don't see how anything healthy or positive can come of interacting with this...person. Maybe it isn't apparent in your posts, but to me, he seems to bring you nothing but heartache.